The trap you may have fallen into...
Compare despair can be so….unhelpful.
We live in a competitive culture, and you won’t find me arguing that the rush you feel when winning a big golden trophy isn’t exhilarating. However, constantly comparing yourself to others (whether you win or not) can be exceptionally detrimental to your physical, mental and financial health.
The other day, I was catching up with a friend. I was impressed by all that she’s done with her family, career and self-care this summer. Actually, I was feeling a twinge of jealousy. That’s okay because sometimes feelings of jealousy tell us what’s really important to us. What wasn’t okay is that I could feel myself turning the same things that inspired me into evidence of my own slacker-ness.
I was slipping into the ‘compare and despair’ spiral.
Then I asked myself 2 questions….
If you stand in the sun, does that mean that no one else can bask in the sunshine?
If you sing a song, does that mean that nobody else can sing the same tune?
Nope. As far as I know, you and I can BOTH stand in the sun. The sun’s rays are not finite. And there’s not a cap on the number of people who can belt out Journey in the shower…or the car…or the dancefloor.
I first heard these two questions a few years back when I started to learn more about what it really means to have an abundance mentality.
What’s an abundance mentality? According to Stephen Covey, who coined the term in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, it’s “a concept in which a person believes there are enough resources and successes to share with others.”
For example, we’re less likely to see someone getting a promotion and immediately conclude that means we won’t get a promotion. When we look at the world from a place of abundance, we believe that all parties can win (in some way or another.)
Do you embrace an abundance mentality when it comes to money?
Do you believe that the amount of money available on our planet is infinite? Is it like rays of sunshine, available to all those who stand in its path?
Hmm….
Comparison is a natural human tendency, and we’ve already acknowledged that winning can be a thrill. But if you’re constantly looking around to see what your co-workers, siblings, peers, or neighbors are doing, you’re less likely to feel satisfied even if you’re the ‘winner.’
Especially during these times of ongoing uncertainty, the more we keep compare and despair at bay, the more we can stay in the zone of the abundance mentality. I’ve found that approaching challenges with this mindset is more light-hearted and motivating. And it’s definitely more FUN than the alternatives that teeter on the edge of that downward spiral.
Even when things don’t feel like they’re going your way or when your finances aren’t where you want them to be, look at what you do have in your life - and then you’ll see you have even more!